These are Some
of my Mom’s Thoughts
on Different Subjects
Her Life: “I’ve had a pretty good life. I’ve had real experiences and I learned from all of them. Now, I’ve got my health, I’m free, and I have no worries.”
On Discipline: I got beatings when I was a kid and I thought I’d never hit my own kids, but I did. I even hit my grandkids when they misbehaved, but when I knew better, I did better. I learned to change my behavior in my mid-sixties. It’s never too late.”
On Love: “There is nothing else. That is what we are all here to do, to love. I love everyone even if they don’t love me. Love can’t end and it can’t start. It just is. What most people call love is really just infatuation or need, because when someone’s need is not met, they suddenly don’t love anymore. That can’t be love. Love isn’t a decision.”
On meeting a friend of mine from Texas: “I think I’ve known you . . . you know, before. We have the same spirit. We’re like two women in a dream.”
Movies rated with adult language: We were watching T.V. and I hit the info button on the remote control to see what the movie was about and mom noticed that there was a warning about “Adult Language.” She said, “What’s that mean? I said, “Cursing,” and she said, “Who said cursing is adult language. Isn’t that adolescent language?”
As the doctor gets ready to drain the lymph node under her arm, he tells her to place her hand on his shoulder and she says, “If I do that, I’m going to hug you.” The doctor did not respond and when he left the room, she said, “Too much schooling and not enough spooning.”
As concerns my calling her “Old Woman” as a term of endearment: “Don’t call me old woman. It feels heavy.” I said, “Well, how does it feel when I call you “young lady?” She said, “It feels like I have wings and can fly.”
On a Bus going to the doctor’s office: A woman boarded the bus. She was shaking, either from Parkinson’s or some other disorder. Mom whispered to me, “Gee look at that woman shaking. I sure hope I don’t shake like that when I get old.” Mom was 90 at the time.
Visiting Nurse visit: The nurse asks mom if she is having any pain and mom says, “No and I’m not inducing any either.”
In hospital after knee surgery: Mom was on the phone speaking with a friend from Florida. Her end of the conversation went something like this: “Yeah girl, I deserve this. I paid my dues. I get all my meals in bed, and every morning they wheel me to the shower, hose me down, dry me off, powder me up, and dress me and then they wheel me back to my room. In the afternoon, a handsome young man from Australia takes me on walks around the hospital (part of physical therapy).” I think Dr. Phil is right. There is no reality, only perception.
On Angels: “I saw three at the foot of my bed.” I asked, “How did they look?” “They had wings.” “Did they say anything?” “No, they just stood there staring at me.” What did you do or say? “Nothing, I went back to sleep. Angels protect us or guide us home and I figured I must need protection because I wasn’t ready to go home."
On angels generally: I read that angels fly because they take things lightly. That’s not true; I take things lightly and I can’t fly. Angels fly because they have wings.”
On Love, Death, Anger: “Don’t love me to death; love me to life.” “Anger is wasted energy.”
Things mom loved: ice pops, strawberry and vanilla ice cream, pretzels, hard candy, plantains, codfish, candied yams, fried chicken, French fries, and collard greens.
On Being Catholic: “I don’t know why they go to confession. It’s as if they think God doesn’t already know, like he wasn’t there when they were doing whatever it is they’re confessing about. And who says God needs help! To tell you the truth, I don’t think God gives a hoot about most of the stuff they confess. He’s got bigger fish to fry.”
On Her Philosophy of Life: “I don’t have one. I just take what comes."
On Looks: “Looks don’t count for much. It’s the spirit that counts.”
On Death: “You know, every time they put someone to death, people think they’re giving out a punishment, but I think they’re actually setting them free. I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m not ready to die either. I like Earth and the people on it.”
On the Body: “I like mine just the way it is. It’s still going and it’s the reason I’m here and you can see me.”
On Men: Mom loved men. Whenever one came to the house, she'd ask, "Are you married?" If he said yes, she'd say, "Oh crap." One time my friend, Bill, came by for some energy work. He got onto my massage table, and while I worked on him, mom, who was sitting on the couch, came over to the table, looked down at him and said, "May I put my head on your chest? It's been such a long time since I put my head on a man's chest." Bill obliged her and she put her head on his chest for a few seconds and then gently kissed his cheek and sat back down. After he left my apartment, mom said, "He's cute. That made my day!"
One time we went to the hospital cafeteria after a doctor's visit and as we were leaving after finishing our meal, mom saw two young men sitting near the exit and she blew each of them a kiss and said, "There now, you just got something for nothing."
Going with the Flow: Mom loved reading, but she got glaucoma in her sixties, and as she got older, she'd forget to put her drops in her eyes. So by the time she came to live with me, she couldn't see well enough to read. She read the first Harry Potter book, but it took her a long time given her failing eye sight. I bought her the second and third books in the audio version. One day, I put the tapes in a recorder and put the headsets on my mom's ears. When she finished listening to the first tape, I removed it from the recorder and replaced it with what I thought was the second tape. I left mom in the living room while I went to the kitchen to tend to some cooking. When I returned to the living room, mom was still listening to the tape, only this time her head was bobbing up and down and her feet were swaying back and forth. I went over to her to investigate. I couldn't imagine what part of Harry Potter she was listening to. After all, I didn't recall any music in the storyline. I removed the headset from her ears and listened. As it turned out, mom had been listening to Rod Stewart's Greatest Hits.
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